Quieting Dietary Confusion: Tools for Discerning a Way of Eating That Works for You

Almost every day, someone asks me what I think of a particular dietary protocol, program, or app. “What do you think about intermittent fasting?” “Do you think there’s anything to eating according to your blood type?” “What do you think about this app?” My answer is almost always, “It depends.” As my certification was earned in a program that emphasizes bio-individual nutrition, I don’t believe there is one right way for everyone to eat. There is not one list of Always, Never, and Sometimes foods. There is not one right macronutrient balance or caloric intake for your body every day, much less one that applies to every person of your height and gender. Even if there were, none of that takes into account that you are a whole, feeling, unique human being. The innate self-knowledge we had as infants has since been drowned out by messages outside of ourselves. We have been taught not to trust ourselves, our cravings, our preferences, our hunger or satiety. That’s why I’m asked these questions, because you trust me more than you trust yourself. I’d like to help you change that.

Let’s first take a second to recognize some of the messages that have led to this lack of trust. Perhaps you heard, “Clean your plate” or “How can you still be hungry? You just ate.” We hear things like, “Everything in moderation.” Who decides what “moderation” is? “Better enjoy all that holiday/special occasion/cheat day food now, because tomorrow we are tossing it out/going on a diet/buckling down.” Advertisements proclaim that our appetites need to be controlled, that we need tracking apps or programs to offer accountability. Willpower is equated to strength of character. So many people and entities claiming to know what’s better for your body than you do. No wonder you are so confused. Here are a few tips to help you start to discern what’s right for yourself.

If considering a new dietary plan:

1. Identify your WHY

Whether you keep notes on paper or an electronic device, I suggest you write down your responses. Why do you want to try this way of eating and why do you want to try it now? Once you write down the answer, ask again, “Why?” This is also the time to question the validity of your beliefs. There is no right or wrong here. This is an exploration. Once you clarify your why, state it clearly.

Example: I want to try this, because I need to eat better. Why? Because, I need to lose weight. Do you? Why? To be healthier. Does losing weight equate to better health? Why? If I eat less “junk,” it’s obviously healthier. Ah, so you want to try this in an effort to eat less “junk.” Fair enough. Move on to step 2.

2. Get honest about your expectations

What do you expect the result of this change to be? How quickly do you expect them to occur? How will you feel if your expectations aren’t met? Be unflinchingly honest with yourself here, because this is where all of those sneaky messages come into play.

Example: John stated that his why for trying a keto diet was to get his blood sugar under control, before he developed type 2 diabetes. His family has a history of diabetes and heart disease, so he’s concerned for his health. However, his expectation was that he would lose weight. After a few weeks, he notices his sleep has improved, he’s more energetic throughout the day, he’s less moody, and monitoring shows improvement to his blood sugar levels. On top of all that, he’s actually enjoying the food he’s eating. Then, one day, he steps on the scale, the number doesn’t meet his expectation. This throws him for a loop and he finds himself returning to his former way of eating. Before long, he’s lost the benefits he’d received.

Does this sound at all familiar? It’s important to be honest about your expectations, so you can be prepared if your experience doesn’t meet them.

3. Be honest with and respectful of yourself.

Imagine yourself going through daily life (whether short term or long term) following the plan in question. What do you imagine that looks like? How does it make you feel emotionally? Do you imagine white-knuckling your way through social events or the holidays or look forward to trying some new options? Do you imagine feeling empowered or frightened?

4. Experiment

Once you have identified your why, gotten honest about your expectations and discerned what you will do if those expectations aren’t met, and have identified that the plan in question leaves you feeling more curious than fearful…experiment. Try it out. Along the way, take note of how you feel, physically and emotionally. Identify self-talk and that which comes from outside sources. Take what you like, what feels good, and leave the rest behind.

5. It’s not the only way

If you try a new plan and notice positive change, take some time to recognize what you have taken out and what you have added in. If you have something that isn’t “part of the plan,” resist the urge to think you’ve “blown it” and figure you may as well have all the things and start again tomorrow. Doing so will eliminate the opportunity to recognize just how that thing affects you or not. For more detail on this, refer to this blog post. The point is, if you went from a standard American diet to a whole food vegetarian diet and you feel awesome, consider all of the things you removed (fast food burgers, along with the fries and soda or shake that accompanied, for instance) rather than thinking that this particular way of eating is THE way for you.

6. You are not your diet

Resist the urge to define yourself by your way of eating. If you define yourself by your diet, if it needs modification, if your needs change, it will be harder for you to adjust, because you have tied your identity into your dietary choices. Can you imagine doing that with anything else? People say, “I am keto. I am vegetarian. I’m Paleo.” But, nobody says, “I am leggings. I am jazz.” Maybe sometimes you want to wear jeans, listen to rock music, or eat a potato. Silly, yes, but you don’t have to look very hard to find someone who has been judged because they *gasp* put a potato on their website (“Are potatoes Paleo now?”) or finds that not eating meat or just eating meat isn’t working for them anymore. Leave yourself room to discover and, for goodness sakes, keep your eyes on your own plate.